Yes.? Shut up, I know.? Gahhhhh!
It’s been, like, 30 seconds since my kids officially got out of school for the summer and I’m complaining.? Mom can’t hang, y’all.
Your kids probably still have a week or more left thanks to Elsa and her never-ending winter.? You probably long for the day that projects are done, that backpacks are put away, that summer reading is the only thing on your child’s to-do list.? I should be loving all the time spent with these little people, just soaking in their amaaaazzzingness (see #OhLucy exhibit A) but…
I. Just. Can’t.
This is the first summer since 2006 that I have been blessed with my children all day and all night during their summer vacations.? I just have to say it.? I’m not a fan.? I love my kids.? But. Wow.? It’s been rough, y’all.? And it’s only been a week.
Seriously.? Who came up with this idea of 3 months off?
In the summer.
In Arizona.??
Do you see what we are working with here?
I mean, that should be illegal.? Momma Kids needs space.? My kids need to play.? They need to romp and frolic and spend all day outside being creative and crap or working on their free throws so they can get scholarships.? Unless I put them all on a graveyard shift schedule, that ain’t happening.? For Three. Long. Months.
I feel kinda stupid for being cocky about coming from Texas and, hey, it gets hot there too, so we will be fiiinneeeeee.?? Yeah, no.? This is Africa hot.? I feel I should try to explain the difference.? It’s the sun.? Man, it has its own special level of intensity out here.? It’s mean, it’s brutal, it takes no prisoners.? I’m pretty mean to my kids, but even I won’t make them go outside and try to play under these conditions.
Where does that leave us?? Yep.? Inside.? Follow me here.
You know what my kids have done all week?? Watched TV, played Xbox, visited our favorite neighbor-teacher (where they watched TV and played Xbox).? See the pattern here?? Dude.? It’s TOO EFFING HOT.? For a state that figured out doing Daylight Savings time is dumb, I don’t see why they haven’t jumped onboard with mandatory year round school.
Wait- teacher friends!? Don’t go.? I know, I know.? I mean no disrespect.? I get it.? This is the ONLY thing you have in your life that balances out the low pay and the crappy attitudes and state mandated testing.
I can be reasonable.? Let’s work this out.? How about we give the kids 3 months off when they can actually go outside and play.? School calendars should run February through October.
Boom.
Yes?
Because I’m not sure the 5 of us will all make it 3 months inside this house together.? I’m outnumbered.? And I don’t like the odds.
Get it together, Shenanigans!? I know- ooooh- how about camps? How about play dates? How about outings??
Camps: not a whole lot of options here in my small town.? And they cost money.? I just spend all ours at Walt Disney World and on race fees.? Oops.? It was for the children, you know.? The memories!? The Magic!? Ahem.
In addition, it’s hard to find coordinating plans for 4 kids spanning 9 years in age.
Play dates: ugh.? I mean, I know, wow.? That’s bad to say.? But really. That just means MORE kids being bored and watching TV or playing Xbox in my house.? And chances are they won’t find me as amusing as my own children do.? Or as scary.? Know your audience, right?? And I know what works with my 4.? I’m not sure how bringing more chaos into the house would actually help matters.
Outings:? This one I am actually willing to concede.? I need to work on finding fun and interesting places to take my children in Phoenix and Tucson.? Shouldn’t be too hard.? I should do that.? I will do that.? Either way would be about an hours drive in the car, so at the very least it’s killing time, right?? And I think that’s on my List too.? Visit museums or something?
Woo Hoo!? We have a winner.
I want to channel my buddy DisBroad Amy and be all zen about the time home with the kids.? But.? I just can’t.? It’s just too hot, y’all.
By the way,? did I mention Mr. Shenanigans is leaving for a week business trip?? Alone?? To ORLANDO?? Where he gets to hang out with Mr. Jon Bon Jovi for cripes sake?!
Yeah.? You feel me now?
Hold me.? It’s going to be a long, hot summer, y’all.
Help!? Give me some tips and tricks to make it through the summer.? We aren’t crafty, though, so anything involving Pinterest and glue guns are no-gos. What do you do with your children when the final bell rings?? How does your summer look?
Patty Holliday is the owner and creator of all things No-Guilt Universe. As a lifelong fangirl and pop culture connoisseur, she’s been creating online since 2009. You can find her work at No-Guilt Disney.com, No-Guilt Fangirl.com, No-Guilt Life, and as host of the top-rated No-Guilt Disney Podcast.
Jen
Tuesday 3rd of June 2014
Wait...what about Jon Bon Jovi? If it helps, it's really only about two months off...at least here. The library is a great resource. Sometimes children's museums have different things going on for free or very low cost.
jen
Tuesday 3rd of June 2014
Trying to feel bad for you. Not working. Try Oct-May being too cold or rainy, now the mosquitos are out and July will be in the 90s with 75%+ humidity AND mosquitos. Tell me all about TX!
Jennifer Lefforge
Monday 2nd of June 2014
Clearly the only solution is to drive to San Diego and live in your car. (kidding not kidding). Spent many childhood summers in Arizona and I have to tell you I don't miss it. But you are stronger! You've got this! You can do it! (interesting that my get through the hell summer and marathon encouragement speeches sounds eerily similar)
Tania
Monday 2nd of June 2014
You could just come visit me. Or take them to your mom's house, like I do :) You'll survive! Don't you worry!
Lesley
Monday 2nd of June 2014
I know it's not in all places, but my elementary school would have summer activities and my parents would sign me up for a couple weeks. Then there were camps at the U of A that were all day stuff. My friends and I were insane enough to be outside but we'd head inside for kool-aid and AC.