Holiday movies are my jam, and when you combine it with my undying love of Mr. Dan Levy you can bet I was pressing play as quickly as I could! After watching the latest Christmas movie on Hulu, I made this list of the best quotes from Happiest Season by Dan Levy to remind me how perfect this human being is (even if it’s just a character!). Happiest Season’s best quotes can be watched on Hulu now!
About Happiest Season
Meeting your girlfriend’s family for the first time can be tough. Planning to propose at her family’s annual Christmas dinner — until you realize that they don’t even know she’s gay — is even harder.
When Abby (Kristen Stewart) learns that Harper (Mackenzie Davis) has kept their relationship a secret from her family, she begins to question the girlfriend she thought she knew.
Happiest Season is a holiday romantic comedy that hilariously captures the range of emotions tied to wanting your family’s acceptance, being true to yourself, and trying not to ruin Christmas.
Best Quotes From Happiest Season By Dan Levy (The BFF We’d Ask Santa For)
Dan Levy, the genius behind Schitt’s Creek (Emmy winning writer, showrunner, director, actor- this perfect human being does it all!) co-stars as Abby’s best friend in Happiest Season.
And as you can imagine, he steals scenes and hearts throughout.
Even when he’s tracking us, just like the NSA.
Here are my favorite quotes from Happiest Season by Dan Levy, which clearly show why he’s the BFF we should be asking Santa for this year.
John- aka- Dan Levy Quotes From Happiest Season
I left a gentleman in my apartment so I’m tracking him to make sure he leaves.
I track everyone.
If the NSA can do it, so can I. – John
I love champagne. – John
There it is… (looking at engagement ring). – Abby
No. – John
You and Harper have a perfect relationship.
Why do you want to ruin that by engaging in one of the most archaic institutions in the history of the human race? – John
Okay, you say that, but what you are actually doing is tricking the woman you claim to love by trapping her in a box of heteronormativity and trying to make her your property. – John
She is not a rice cooker. Or a cake plate. – John
It’s about building a life with her. She is … my person. And I want everyone to know that. – Abby
I suppose that’s one way of looking at it. – John
I’m sorry…ask her dad for his blessing? (looks around)
Way to stick it to the patriarchy.
Very well done. – John
Where the hell did it go- cheap freaking puzzle. – John
The fish, the fish are… yes, yeah, but enough about me.
Have you managed to get a man’s permission to take ownership of an adult human woman yet? – John
You can’t go over a year without meeting your significant other’s parents.
Trust me, I have tried. – John
Have they ever met a lesbian? – John
Yeah, there’s nothing more erotic than concealing your authentic selves. – John
Did you know that you are standing in a country club that didn’t let women have their own memberships until the early 2000s? -John
How do you know that?- Abby
Um, I might be tracking you but it’s for your own safety, clearly. -John
I want you to break out of that closet. -John
Stop being a doormat, you fool. – John
I’m not shaming you, I just think the choice you’re making is dumb and you should feel bad about it and yourself. – John
You know what? I think I should Google it.
I’ll Google it. Thanks. – John
Okay, so, I might have been a little judgemental when we last spoke.
You are in an unusual situation and as your friend, I should have created a safe space for you to share without the threat of criticism, so… I’m sorry.
I am here, no judgment. What is going on? -John
Uh, uh… I’m gonna need to give this a think, I think. -John
When are you going to get this?
I. Have. Been. Tracking. You. -John
I am John, Abby’s heterosexual ex-boyfriend, and I am here to get her back. -John
I nailed that, and she is fabulous. -John
That phone call earlier was a cry for help, and I am here to help.
Please get your things. -John
You Pump?- John
Yeah, you? What to do you bench? -Conner
1000, a 1000 plus? -John
Yeah, that’s good mass. That’s solid. – John feeling Conner’s bicep
Harper not coming out to her parents has nothing to do with you. -John
My dad… kicked me out of the house and didn’t talk to me for 13 years after I told him.
Everybody’s story is different.
There’s your version and my version and everything in between. -John
And then once you say those words, you can’t unsay them.
A chapter has ended and a new one begun and you have to be ready for that.
You cant do it for anybody else. Just because Harper isn’t ready it doesn’t mean she never will be. -John
You look great in this coat. – John
(reading ingredients on Cheetos)
Red 40 Lake, Yellow 6 Lake, Yellow 6, Yellow 5.
Because all of the yellows taste so different. -John
Let’s look at gum. -John
Dan Levy’s quotes from Happiest Season are simply the best! (get it?)
More Dan Levy Love
Patty Holliday is the owner and creator of all things No-Guilt Universe. As a lifelong fangirl and pop culture connoisseur, she’s been creating online since 2009. You can find her work at No-Guilt Disney.com, No-Guilt Fangirl.com, No-Guilt Life, and as host of the top-rated No-Guilt Disney Podcast.