101 Of The Best Step Brothers Drum Set Quotes

Did we just become best friends? If you know these scenes we’re talking about, you bet we did! Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly have some of the best Step Brothers Quotes from the 2008 movie. Like all brothers, there are some living adjustments that have to happen. They share a small room, they fight over extra space and are overall fighting with each other over childish things. Because, yeah, they’re adults. Here are the hilarious Step Brothers Drum Set quotes and lines that will have your heart rate racing!

Page Contents

About Step Brothers

Brennan Huff, a sporadically employed thirty-nine-year-old who lives with his mother, Nancy.

Dale Doback, a terminally unemployed forty-year-old who lives with his father, Robert.

When Robert and Nancy marry and move in together, Brennan and Dale are forced to live with each other as step brothers.

As their narcissism and downright aggressive laziness threaten to tear the family apart, these two middle-aged, immature, overgrown boys will orchestrate an insane, elaborate plan to bring their parents back together.

To pull it off, they must form an unlikely bond that maybe, just maybe, will finally get them out of the house.

Cast Of Step Brothers

Will Ferrell
John C. Reilly
Richard Jenkins
Mary Steenburgen (as Nancy Huff)
Adam Scott
Kathryn Hahn

Hilarious Step Brothers Drum Set Quotes and Lines

Dale Doback : Hey man. Did you touch my drum set?
Brennan Huff : Nope.
Dale Doback : It’s just weird, ’cause, it seems like someone definitely touched my drumset.
Brennan Huff : Yeah, that is weird, ’cause I didn’t touch ’em.
Dale Doback : Did you touch my drum set? (Step Brothers quotes)
Brennan Huff : Hey, knock it off!
Dale Doback : I know you touched my drumstick, ’cause the left one has a chip in it.
Brennan Huff : Are you f@cking crazy, man? You sound insane. Do you realize that? You should be medicated.
Dale Doback : F@ck you Brennan! I know you touched my drumset, and I wanna hear that dirty little mouth admit it.
Brennan Huff : Get out of my face, or I’m gonna roundhouse your @ss!

Dale Doback : You swear on your mom’s life that you didn’t touch it then!
Brennan Huff : I don’t have to swear to sh!t!
Dale Doback : That’s ’cause you f@cking touched my drumset! ‘Cause I know COPS doesn’t start ’till 4:00!
Dale Doback : Where you going?
Brennan Huff : I’m going upstairs… ’cause I’m gonna put my nutsack, on your drumset! Okay?
Dale Doback : If you do that – I’m warning you, right now! If you touch my drums, I will stab you, in the neck, with a knife!
Brennan Huff : Now I’m gonna play your drum set! Close your eyes. Let the dirt just shower over you…
Brennan Huff : This is your fault. Oh, I’m exhausted. I’m gonna sleep good tonight…
Dale Doback : DON’T YOU TOUCH MY DRUMS!
Brennan Huff : Zombie! ZOMBIE! Get off me, zombie! (Step Brothers quotes)

More Step Brothers Quotes

Dale Doback : Hey, can I ask you something?
Brennan Huff : Yeah.
Dale Doback : You know back when you first moved in?
Brennan Huff : Yeah.
Dale Doback : Did you touch my drumset?
Brennan Huff : No, I didn’t.
Dale Doback : No, really, I won’t get mad I just want to know.
Brennan Huff : No I know. You said you wouldn’t get mad. I’m just telling you I didn’t do it. I didn’t do it. I never did it.
Dale Doback : Well then I owe you an apology.
Brennan Huff : No, you don’t, at all. No.
Dale Doback : Why would you take an apology if you didn’t do it?
Brennan Huff : Because I’m cool. It doesn’t matter
Dale Doback: I warned you! There’s one rule in the house, and you broke it!
Brennan Huff : Your drumset’s a whore! I tea-bagged your drumset! (Step Brothers quotes)
Dale Doback : My drumset’s a guy so it makes you gay, you f@cker!
Brennan Huff : Look, I didn’t touch your drum set, okay?
Dale Doback : I witnessed with my eyes your testicles touching my drum set.

This whole thing is hilarious. Step Brothers Drum Set Quotes are some of our faves from the movie.

Watch the Step Brothers Drum Set scene here.

Best Step Brothers Quotes

Brennan Huff : Listen, I know that we started out as foes. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.
Dale Doback : I would follow you into the mists of Avalon if that’s what you mean.
Dale Doback : Hey, you awake?
Brennan Huff : Yeah.
Dale Doback : I just want you to know I hate you. And so does my dad.
Brennan Huff : Well that’s fine. Cause guess what? I hate you too. And this house sucks @ss.
Dale Doback : Well the only reason you’re living here, is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot, and maybe we should just both bang her.
Dale Doback : Shut up! You’ll wake up my dad and get me grounded.
Brennan Huff : Just shut up!
Dale Doback : You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.
Brennan Huff : You’re not a doctor… you’re a big, fat, curly-headed f@ck!
Dale Doback : Oh yeah?
Brennan Huff : Yeah.
Dale Doback : I’m a curly-headed f@ck?
Brennan Huff : Yeah. You better not go to sleep, ’cause as soon as your eyes shut I’m gonna punch you square in the face.
Dale Doback : I hope you stay still when you sleep, ’cause I’m gonna put a rat trap between your legs.
Brennan Huff : I’m going to take a pillowcase, and fill it full of bars of soap, and beat the sh!t out of you.
Dale Doback : I want you out of my f@cking house!
Brennan Huff : No way Kimosabe. This is my house now. (Step Brothers quotes)

Dale Doback : Okay, here’s the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta f@ck one, marry one, kill one, go!
Dale Doback : Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I’m looking good, got a luscious V of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes, ” Oh, my God, I’ve had the old bull, now I want the young calf,” and she grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback : Shut the f@ck up!
Brennan Huff : You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.
Dale Doback : Yeah, I got ’em from the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. It’s like masturbating in a time machine.
Dale Doback : You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.
Dale Doback : On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it. Just name it. Ready? One, two, three.
(same time): Velociraptor.
Brennan Huff : Favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to.
(same time): Good Housekeeping.
Brennan Huff : If you were a chick, who’s the one guy you’d sleep with?
(same time): John Stamos.
Brennan Huff : Did we just become best friends? (Step Brothers quotes)
Dale Doback : Yep!
Brennan Huff : Do you wanna do karate in the garage?
Dale Doback : Yep!
Brennan Huff : I’ll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.
Dale Doback : The clown has no penis.
This is going to sound weird but, for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.

Have fun thinking about these Step Brothers Quotes while lying awake in your bunk beds, friends!

More TV and Movie Quotes You’ll Love

Patty Holliday

Patty Holliday is the owner and creator of all things No-Guilt Universe. As a lifelong fangirl and pop culture connoisseur, she’s been creating online since 2009. You can find her work at No-Guilt Disney.com, No-Guilt Fangirl.com, No-Guilt Life, and as host of the top-rated No-Guilt Disney Podcast.

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101 Of The Best Step Brothers Drum Set Quotes