Inspirational Quotes From Ted Lasso

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If you haven’t jumped on the Ted Lasso bandwagon, here’s your heads up: do it. It’s worth the $5 a month for Apple TV just for this series alone (but there’s honestly a lot on the network we can recommend!) Season 1 of Ted Lasso scored 20 Emmy noms- TWENTY!- and there’s a season 2 (so good!) and season 3 is happening right now. There are also some Ted Lasso coloring pages and a Ted Lasso drinking game you can enjoy (responsibly) as well. If you are a fan of Schitt’s Creek feel-good quotes, then you’ll love these quirky and inspirational quotes from Ted Lasso.

About Ted Lasso

Jason Sudeikis plays Ted Lasso, a small-time college football coach from Kansas hired to coach a professional soccer team in England, despite having no experience coaching soccer.

Watch the trailer for Ted Lasso Season 3 here.

Age Rating of Ted Lasso: Parents Guide

Inspirational Quotes From Ted Lasso

Coach Lasso has a way with words, and if you can’t find inspiration in some of his best quotes from Ted Lasso season 1, we’re not sure there’s hope for you!

Okay, that’s not right- Coach wouldn’t give up on you, and neither will we.

Here are the best quotes from Ted Lasso- get inspired before season 2 starts on July 23!

Best Ted Lasso Quotes Season 1

• Do you believe in ghosts, Ted? -Rebecca
  I do. But more importantly I think they need to believe in themselves. -Ted
• The fellow with the big Mickey Mouse hands by the net – Ted
• How many countries are in this country? -Ted
  Four- Beard & Nate
  Kinda like America these days. – Ted quotes from Ted Lasso
• I do love a locker room. Smells like potential. Am I getting notes of axe body spray? – Ted

• He thinks he’s mad now, wait til we win him over. -Ted Lasso
  He’ll. Be. Furious. – Beard
• Sometimes the best way to stick it to the man is to go right between his legs. -Ted Lasso quotes
• You know what the happiest animal on earth is? It’s a gold fish. Know why? It’s got a 10 second memory. Be a goldfish, Sam.
• I’m sorry Nate I have real tricky time hearing people who don’t believe in themselves. Do you think this idea would work?
• Show him the strut coach. – quote from Ted Lasso
• Put the game before the dame, huh? – Ted

Quotes From Ted Lasso Season 2

Season 2 of Ted Lasso quotes are here!

• Football is life. – Dani Rojas
• I promise that’s not what I wished for. – Nate
• Oh god did we really make Michael Jordan cry? – Rebecca
• “Don’t fret Boba Fett.” – Keeley
• The same thing that makes you cry knowing they existed are the same things that make you cry knowing they’re gone. – Ted
• Hey Dani what you doing? -Ted
  Washing the death off of me. – Dani quotes from Ted Lasso
  I suggest you use a little soap. Helps get the eternal rest out of the tough to reach places. -Ted

• Jan maas is not being rude. He’s just being Dutch. -Sam
• Back home if a team was playing poorly we don’t call them unlucky. What do we call em coach? -Ted
  New York jets. -Coach Beard
  There it is. – Ted
• Tell your mom happy birthday for us and if she ever wants to try out for the team she’s more than welcome. -Ted
• Pressure makes pearls. – Nate
• You didn’t mess up, you’re just- Ted
  Unlucky. – Beard
• Dani’s like an expensive tape measure. He snaps back. – Ted
• May the force be with you. – Ted
  And also with you. – Higgins quotes from Ted Lasso
• Football is death! -Dani

• I was just hoping you were Keeley. -Rebecca
  That’s okay. I wish I was Keeley 3- 4 times a day. -Ted
• Rule number 1: even though it’s called girl talk sometimes it needs to be more like Girl listen. – Ted
• Yeesh sometimes living here is like being in a foreign country. – Ted
• Hey coach. Can I get real a second? Forget my meal a second? -Ted
  Put down your beer and tell your buddy how you feel a second? -Coach Beard quotes from season 2 Ted Lasso
• Don’t you dare settle for fine. -Roy Kent
• She seems fuuuun. -Beard
• I’m not just a loser I’m the loser. – Jamie quotes from Ted Lasso
• Probably homesick. Closest thing he can find to a Dodge Ram. – Roy
• It’s good for my sciatica too. The vibrations really help out my butt. – Ted

• That’s not a bike that’s a transformer. -Keeley
  She’s really more than meets the eye. -Ted
• Good why should you, I ain’t your daddy! -Ted
• Do tell Ricky Bell. – Ted
• Ted Lasso welcome wagon has arrived! – Ted
• Enjoy your trophies for winning nothing. – Roy
• One of the goals was disallowed because apparently 9 year olds aren’t allowed to do headers yet. – Roy

• That’s a real roller coaster there. Glad I was tall enough to go along on that ride. -Ted
• Wow. Old people are so wise. Like tall Yodas. -Jamie
• I heard Bono’s father was a real price of work. But so was Joshua Tree sooo- Ted
• Oh Sam there’s a bunch of crazy stuff on Twitter. Heck someone made an account for my mustache. – Ted quotes from Ted Lasso
• Every time my father sees you on tv he’s glad I’m here. I’m in safe hands with you. – Sam
• Oh what a lovely inscription- that you wrote completely over my head, face and body. – Coach Beard
• Hold me closer tiny Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen. – Ted

• God bless me, everyone. – Jamie
• The 28th- the sexiest of all the days! – Roy Kent
• So, uh, Sam, back home, what does Christmas make you think of? – Higgins
  Colonization. – Sam
• What do you have to be sad about? Did one of the Paw Patrol dogs die? – Roy
• Roy- we are not going to go beat up a little kid. – Keeley quotes from Ted Lasso
  Why not? – Roy

• I think you might be dying. – Roy
• Hubris, thy name is Ted. – Ted
• I guess that’s what I get for taking a tinkle next to John Holmes. – Ted
• I’m the one with the accent here- I’m sorry, I forgot. – Ted

• Ohh Doc you are more mysterious than David Blaine reading a Sue Grafton novel at Area 51! – Ted
• Hey I tell you what, I’m shipping the heck out of you two. – Ted
• Oh boy, I love meeting people’s moms. Its like reading an instruction manual as to why they’re nuts. – Ted Lasso
• Philistines. I’m asking for help, here. – Jaime
• I don’t really know how to talk to you. – Jaime
  Then its working. – Coach Beard

• It’s true, I’m being super mature you big dumb hairy tw@t. – Jaime
• I believe in communism. Rom-communism.- Ted
• Who knew transubstantiation could happen with a pita? – Ted quotes from Ted Lasso
• Ain’t no side eye like a Roy Kent side eye. – Ted
• I brought you here to remind you that football is a f@cking game that you used to play as a f@cking kid. Cause it was fun, even when you were getting your f@cking legs broken. or your f@cking feelings hurt. So f@ck your feelings, f@ck your over thinking, f@ck all that bullsh!t, go back out there and have some f@cking fun. – Roy Kent
• Too many f@cks? -Roy Kent quotes from season 2
  I don’t know, kinda like all the nipples in that movie Showgirls. Halfway through you don’t even notice. You just kinda get sucked into the narrative. -Ted Lasso

• I’m sorry Roy. But I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life coaching with somebody, you want the rest of your life to begin ASAP. – Ted Lasso
  Please stop. -Roy Kent
• You complete our team. – Ted Lasso
  You’re an @sshole. -Roy Kent
• I’m also just a coach, standing in front of a boy, asking him if- – Ted Lasso
• Shut up, just shut up. You had me at Coach. – Roy Kent

• It’s like we’re on an episode of the Sopranos. without a lot of gratuitous violence, which is a good thing. But without the spaghetti and clams which is a bad thing. Ted
• What do we want to talk about? – Ted
  Why don’t you tell me about what happened the other night?- Sharon
  Yeah, I don’t want to do this. – Ted quotes from Ted Lasso
• There are two things you can’t ever let the other team know. Because mark my words, you’ll start having food deliveries and SWAT teams showing up 24-7, which is nuts, because back in my day all we had to worry about was crank phone calls. With the advent of caller ID, that simple joy got 86ed from the prank menu. Which is a darn shame cause the Jerky Boys were a national treasure. yall should give them a google sometime. -Ted
• The second thing that you don’t want your opponent to know is that you’re tired.-Ted
• Darn tootin, Vladamir Putin! -Ted
• I am a strong and capable man. That’s my mantra. – Colin quotes from Ted Lasso
• Stop your dithering and go f@ck your cartoon rat! – Keeley
• My relationship is the oxygen that gives me life. – Higgins

More Quotes

• Wherever I go he’s my shadow. My adorably hairy shadow- but — Keeley
• You doing exactly what I tell you to do is so f@cking hot. – Keeley
• I’m surprised you came back. – Sharon quotes from Ted Lasso
  Yeah, well, I don’t quit things. -Ted
• I mean you say, you’re only interested in the truth. And yet here you are charging an hourly rate for only 50 minutes of work. Like I said, it’s bullsh!t.- Ted
• Sorry, I didn’t see you there Colin.- Will
  It’s the camouflage. – Colin
• Colin, you paint too. But your work doesn’t hang at museums. Well, you’re like a painting at a Holiday Inn, you know? You don’t inspire, you don’t move people. You’re there. You cover a bloodstain. You do the job. So. Do the job. – Nate
• I thought you quit smoking. – Ted
  I have- this just covers the smell of the boots. – Keeley
• Its sometimes good to bottle things up. That’s how we get pickles! – Ted
  And vodka!- Keeley
  Extra virgin olive oil. – Will
  And messages! – Higgins
• No. Way. (mind blown) – Roy quotes from Ted Lasso
• Consider me dunked on. -Ted
• Fight or flight is a natural response. You just happened to do both. Impressive range, really. – Sharon
• I can’t be your mentor without occasionally being your tormentor. -Sharon
  Ohh I like that! -Ted
  I knew you would. – Sharon

• Deep deep stretch- You want to get that sweet sweet O2 down to your prostate. – Ted
• Hey Siri, Play the Roy is sorry for not understanding Keeley playlist. – Roy
• Stole those roses from your neighbors garden, ripped them to shredds. -Roy
• Babe, I think you’re the cats pajamas but your feet are a f@cking state. – Roy
• Me and Coach Lasso are nothing alike. – Sharon
• I respect that we didn’t have to say a word. -Coach Beard
  She gets us. – Roy Kent
• Why didn’t you say anything? – Jaime
  It was on my neck. – Colin
• I tell you I love this country! – Ted Lasso quotes from Ted Lasso
• Yeah, well I watched a lot of Grey’s Anatomy in my early 30s. – Ted Lasso
• There ain’t no policy like a hospital policy cause a hospital policy don’t stop. -Ted Lasso
• Sorry, yeah, he’s a living piece of sh!t. – Roy Kent
• She called one of her classmates a pathetic sh!t f@cker. – Teacher
  Are they? – Roy
  Oh yes… but that’s not the point. – Teacher
• Uncle Roy, can we get ice cream?
  F@ck no!
  Sorry- F no. – Roy Kent
• Ted it’s Sharon. I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you want to talk my ear off because you can’t properly emote, leave a message. BEEEEPPPPP- Sharon
• In concus-o veritas. – Ted
• I’m not using mine until I get married- or get circumcised. -Dani quotes from Ted Lasso
• Its not complicated, he’s just a dick. Every situation he does exactly what a dick would do. – Jaime Tartt
• It didn’t hold me back. I’m a footballer. No one cares if we swear, its part of the job. It’s encouraged. – Roy
• Sometimes I get concerned that I’m infecting you with the worst parts of me. -Roy
• Because of you, I stand up to bullies. And Referees. -Phoebe quotes from Ted Lasso

• Can you come in for one game of princess and dragons? -Phoebe
  Can I be the dragon this time?- Roy
  Nooo- Phoebe
  Ok FINE. But you’d better have fixed the wand. -Roy
• 10-4 good buddy, err, good colleague. – Ted
• Oh my god, I’m a pedophile- I groomed you! – Rebecca
• I was scared today- really scared. I love riding my bike, its my happy place. After today I was scared I would be too afraid to ride it again. – Sharon
• This sport has the looseyest gooseyest rules- Ted
• There was one game this season where I was accidentally on mushrooms. -Coach Beard
• Butts on three- Coach Beard
• So you’re all fancy now, drinking tea, huh? – Ted
  I didn’t know how to tell you. – Coach Beard quotes from Ted Lasso
• Sorry about that Mike- we all know you have a penis. – Ted Lasso
  I’ve been called worse- Ref
• Not that kind of bird, but… Ted Lasso

Ted Lasso Quotes Season 3

• To all my toys? Tes. To my country’s political landscape? Not so much. -Henry Lasso
• You don’t quit things, Ted. -Dr. Sharon
• Way to notice, Amos Otis! -Ted Lasso quotes season 3
• F@ck you, Joe Rogan. – Keeley Jones quotes Ted Lasso
• They have to train in the sewer because their coach is so sh!tty. -Nate quotes Ted Lasso
• Remember: it’s just poopie. Let it flow. – Jamie Tart quotes
• I look like Ned Flanders is doing cosplay of Ned Flanders. -Ted Lasso
• One of my core beliefs is that nothing lasts forever. -Phoebe
• Of course. To win the whole thing. – Henry

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