Are you looking for something ho-ho-ho-larious for the Christmas Instagram this year? Or maybe you just need a funny Christmas quote for the holiday cards you’re sending out? Check out this list of funny Christmas Wishes for 2023.
Funny Christmas Wishes For Your Holiday Card (2023)
Some of these will work for family, some for friends, and some for the people you love most in the world.
Hopefully, this list of funny Christmas wishes will help you get creative on this year’s holiday card or Instagram quote.
Here are our favorite quotes for Christmas wishes in 2023.
Funny Christmas Quotes For Instagram or Holiday Cards
- I hope your celebration will be big and your credit card bill will be small this Christmas.
- The reason why everyone makes wishes every Christmas is that no one’s wish ever comes true! Let’s change that in 2023!
- May you survive the pastor’s sermon in the church and join me at the party as soon as possible.
- Just wanted you to know that I have literally no chance of ending up on the good list of Santa this year. So you’re in good company!
- I’ve finally found the true meaning of Xmas, it’s for those people who can’t spell Christmas!
- May your Christmas be as fat, happy, and plentiful as Santa’s lap! Merry Christmas!
- Christmas is all about spending time with the best people. So makes sure you spend the entire day with me!
- Christmas is truly full of wonders. I always wonder how it makes all of my savings disappear! That is some true Christmas magic.
- They say the best Christmas gifts come from the heart… but cash and gift cards do wonders too!
- A Christmas Reminder: Don’t try to borrow any money from elves; They’re always a little short!
- This Christmas I planned on going green. So send me lots of cash this Christmas.
- Christmas is the festival of love and spirit. Drink the spirits and feel the love!
- We hope Santa leaves you plenty of presents, but we also hope the reindeer do not leave behind any “presents” on your lawn!
- The best part of Christmas happens when it’s all over. Breathe. Wishing you a stress-free Christmas season!
- I ran out of Christmas wrapping paper, so I used Happy Birthday paper and added “To Jesus” to it.
- My version of the “12 days of Christmas” would include chocolate, wine, cocktails, and dinner instead of turtle doves and French Hens. Just sayin’!
More 2023 Funny Christmas Wishes
- I’ve just received the bad news. Santa had a heart attack. Cause of death was your name on the good list of this year!
- There are four stages in life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
- Santa told me I’ve been very good this year; I told him it was just a lack of opportunity.
- Santa left batteries under the tree with a note that said “Due to inflation, toys not included.
- Everyone grows old, except for You and Santa.
- I wrote to Santa admitting that I have been naughty throughout this year and it’s all because of you.
- Wishing you a white Christmas this year. If you run out of white, I have plenty of red.
Ho-Ho-Ho-larious Christmas Quotes
- “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” – Bridger Winegar Christmas quotes
- “What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.” – Don Marquis
- “Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – Dennis Miller
- “Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.” – Melanie White
- “Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’.” – Robert Paul
- “Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge funny Christmas quotes
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Patty Holliday is the owner and creator of all things No-Guilt Universe. As a lifelong fangirl and pop culture connoisseur, she’s been creating online since 2009. You can find her work at No-Guilt Disney.com, No-Guilt Fangirl.com, No-Guilt Life, and as host of the top-rated No-Guilt Disney Podcast.