If you are a true-crime podcast listener, then you will completely relate to the newest Hulu Original. Staring Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez there are some hilarious and killer (get it?!) quotes from Only Murders In the Building. Charles, Oliver and Mabel are on the case- and this is the mystery team up we didn’t know we needed!
About Only Murders In The Building
From the minds of Steve Martin, Dan Fogelman and John Hoffman comes a comedic murder-mystery series for the ages. “Only Murders In The Building” follows three strangers (Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez) who share an obsession with true crime and suddenly find themselves wrapped up in one.
When a grisly death occurs inside their exclusive Upper West Side apartment building, the trio suspects murder and employs their precise knowledge of true crime to investigate the truth. As they record a podcast of their own to document the case, the three unravel the complex secrets of the building which stretch back years.
Perhaps even more explosive are the lies they tell one another. Soon, the endangered trio comes to realize a killer might be living amongst them as they race to decipher the mounting clues before it’s too late.
Killer Quotes From Only Murders In The Building
Mabel’s quotes are as sharp as her fashion! Can we pull off a faux fur? IDK but we do love her looks in this show.
Oliver’s quotes from Only Murders in the Building have me cracking up! Never change, Martin Short!
But we think our favorite- always has been, always will be- are the lines and quotes from Charles in this show. Steve Martin is comedy chef’s kiss.
Enjoy these lines from Only Murders in the Building and let us know your faves!
- This sends the investigation into a whole new direction. – Charles
- New York and can be a f@cking lot. -Mabel
- It’s a place that makes you binge dateline so you don’t end up on dateline. -Mabel
- As I said it’s a lot. Don’t be here if you don’t like a lot. -Mabel
- Really? Do you not see this coat? – Oliver
- Oh you’re not scott Bakula? Oliver
I am not. – Charles
- What f@cking podcast are you all hooked on? If I meet one more true crime podcast but… detective
- You gd true crime f@cking numbnuts- detective
- F@ck em. I’m offer only. – Charles
- No no no. Have you forgotten? I’m Brazzos. – Charles
- Welcome to Only murders in the building- a true crime podcast. – Charles
- The secrets are the fun parts. Who’s telling the truth? What are they hiding? – Mabel
- I’m not Kojack. I’m not Tubbs. I’m Brazzos. – Charles
- It’s so hot in here do we have to do this in a closet? -Charles
Now you sound like Patti LaPone. – Oliver
- It’s true. I’ve fallen in love with so many dead people. – Charles
- I’d still care if Steve Carrell in The Office was murdered. I think. – Oliver
- I haven’t had an actual entree for years. Granted I’ve lost 14 lbs and a ton of hair but totally worth it. – Oliver
- Here we go. Time for the Killer to make himself known. That was from my show. – Charles
- The crying is covering the dialogue. -Charles
- Our victim is less likeable than a dead cat. – Oliver
- Don’t f@ck with me Oliver.-Bunny
Mmm I couldn’t think of anything less pleasant. – Oliver
- I live on Long Island where people give out cigarettes and lighters. -Young Mabel
- I don’t tip. I send out autographed photos instead. -Charles
- Do I want to go down and break into a dead guys apartment? Sounds like an afternoon. – Mabel
- Remember not to judge nothing shameful about deviant pursuits. – Oliver
- Believe me when he’s acting you can tell. – Oliver
- Calls bother them for some reason. -Oliver
Yeah, I think I’ll text. -Charles
- I will burn it and snort the ashes like it’s 1982. -Oliver
- No one wants a murder podcast about real estate. – Oliver
- Get some Mr. Savage! -Mabel
- (On Hamilton) They picked the one founding father with no pizazz. – Oliver
- A cat never truly leaves you because they transmit parasites. – Charles
- Winnie don’t stand so close to Sting. – Oliver
- You liked it right? -Charles
Is that what my face is saying? -Mabel
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Patty Holliday is the owner and creator of all things No-Guilt Universe. As a lifelong fangirl and pop culture connoisseur, she’s been creating online since 2009. You can find her work at No-Guilt Disney.com, No-Guilt Fangirl.com, No-Guilt Life, and as host of the top-rated No-Guilt Disney Podcast.